Life Lessons You Don't Want to Learn the Hard Way
Young, Urban and Beautiful
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Keep your personal business to yourself
Not everyone needs to know everything about you - not your friends, co-workers and certainly not the general public. Living in the social media driven culture in which we live, it has become habitual to publicize even the most private aspects of ourselves. But being so open leaves one very vulnerable to the scrutiny, misjudgment and potential mal-intentions of others. So, before you tell your co-workers about your wild weekend with the girls or change your relationship status on Facebook, just think, “Is this really everyone’s business?”
Closed mouths don’t get fed
Never be afraid to ask for or, when necessary, demand what you want and deserve. I’ve missed out on several opportunities simply because I never asked for consideration. Whether it’s a promotion, a hot date or even a free meal, give yourself first consideration. Nine times out of ten - you deserve it.
Politics do matter
I hate playing games. And furthermore, I hate being fake or phony. But sometimes you have to be. Smile, shake hands, network and always be polite. I’ve made the mistake (more times than I’d like to admit) of making enemies out of people that in the long run, if I had just shown a little diplomacy, could have turned out to be bountiful resources or advocates. Even if you choose not to play the game, at least learn the rules. You may not end up sweeping the board, but the last thing you want to do is get stuck because you pissed off the wrong person.
Sometimes, it is important to burn bridges
Yes, everyone has value. But not everyone deserves your time or energy. This applies to all relationships - romantic and platonic. Some people are just baggage, negative baggage at that, weighing you down. So, if you have a long time “friend” that wants the goods but won’t commit or a girlfriend that you know gossips about you behind your back, let them go. Burn the bridge and feel the release of the dead weight.
You can learn to live on a lot less than you think
The term “poor” is most certainly relative. I have experienced several episodes of “poverty” throughout my life. Each time I thought I couldn't make it through. Yet, I always made it through unscathed and, in most cases, triumphant. Poverty is relative, but so is wealth. Don’t let your desire for a certain income prevent you from making decisions that may leave you rich in life experience or happiness.
Your degree will only get you so far
Most college students have this romanticized outlook on life after college. They believe that armed with this magical piece of paper, the doors will just fly open and employers will come chasing after them. Poor things. I wish someone had told me that it takes a little more than a degree to guarantee employability. Maybe I would have taken more advantage of those internship opportunities my advisor kept recommending every summer. Even now, I continue to hustle to make myself more “marketable” or to look for opportunities that will be “resume builders.” The point is, everything has a process and very few people find loop holes so don’t let opportunities pass you by, because most times there isn’t a fast track to success.
There is a VERY distinct difference between friend and acquaintance
Just because you both like to party and laugh at the same jokes does not make her/him your friend. Unfortunately, not everyone is trustworthy. This is not to insinuate that one should walk into all relationships on the defensive, but the heart should stay in the chest and not on the sleeve. Reasons, seasons, lifetimes. You’ve heard it before and it’s true. Some people are in your life for very specific purposes. Identify your associates, friends, colleagues, etc. Everyone should fit in a box, and its perfectly OK if they stay there.
Never get complacent
If you’re hot, then you best believe there is someone out there on fire. Yes, be confident, but never curb your hustle. You may have a good job, make good money and like what you do but why not have a great job, make great money and love what you do? We are never too old or experienced to learn or grow - even if that involves stepping out of our comfort zones and trying something new... like starting a new career.
Not all men are the same
By the time we reach our late twenties, most women have formed some very strong opinions about men. We say things like, “All men are_” and “Men want their women to_.” That’s all fine and dandy except that not all men are the same. I’ve stereotyped men basically my entire adult life only to find that I have been wrong at least 50% of the time. Remember, the man for you will be just that - “for you.” So don’t pass up an opportunity to meet someone nice because you “think” you already know him.
Don’t be so hard on yourself because humans make mistakes
I learned all of the proceeding lessons the hard way. Meaning that I’ve gotten a few bumps and bruises from falling down. Most of us have experienced this several times, and may continue to do so. This is a natural part of the growth process. What is most important is that we not let past mistakes or the fear of making future mistakes prevent us from getting back up again.